Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Just Randomness

Nothing scrappy to share today.  Just random thoughts running around inside my head.   Last month was a hard one with so much loss and sadness.  We are still missing my Father-in-Law.  Although his death came as no surprise,  we still go through the mourning process.  My Mother-in-Law is doing so well.  I know that she grieves alone.  How do you go on after losing the man you shared your life with for 62 years?  Life gives us no choice but to get through the next day and hope that the days get easier.

My mother suffering a massive stroke on the very day that my FIL passed, took us totally by surprise.  There was no time to prepare for the change that we were about to see in her life.  The initial prognosis of my mother walking again and returning to her home was premature.  Sadly, my mother will remain paralysed on her right side and the left side of her brain has been compromised.   She is now waiting to be placed in long-term care.  It makes me sad that she will no longer be able to knit, to read a complicated novel, to move around as she wishes.  I feel that I am finally accepting this reality but  I am still missing the mother I had before this stroke.  I have lost her.

 We visit my mother, and hope that she is having a good day.  We bring her flowers and we make her cards but it is hard to think of the hours in a day that she has to get through with nothing to do.  It will be better when she is placed in the home.  Then we can decorate her room and try to make it more homey.  We can bring her her big albums. I am sure that she is missing her anniversary album.  Right now she just has small make shift albums so she feels that we are there with her.  She misses not living with my father and he doesn't like living alone either.  They have lived together for almost 51 years.  Now they just have hospital visits.  It doesn't help that she is an hours drive away from me and Susan.  There is talk that she may be moved even further away from us temporarily, if a bed opens up in a long- term home in one of the neighbouring towns.  Then we will have a 1.5 hour drive.  Then my father will not be able to just pop up to see her.  He will be a half hours drive away, and he doesn't drive.  We will pick him up on the way when we visit.

 The one thing that makes me feel better is knowing that my mother always makes friends easily.  She is a pleasant, caring, non-confrontational woman.  She is a listener and would hate to ever say anything to hurt a person's feelings.  I know that she will make new friends and this will make her life better.  Thankfully her speech has improved and she is getting speech therapy to help it even further.  Her ability to communicate is a blessing.

They say that bad events always come in threes.  Last week, our next door neighbour passed away very suddenly.  He was only 65 years old.  His wife came to our door one evening.  She had just left him at the hospital one hour previous.  She got the call from the doctor that he had passed and needed a lift back up to the hospital.  We witnessed her fall apart.  We saw what would be her worst nightmare come true.  All we could do was to hug her and tell her that we are right next door if she ever needs anything at any time.  Now the ladies on each side of me are widows.  We like them to know that Rob is here to help them with any guy things around the place.  He will power wash their houses and balconies and be on duty when garage doors decide to not shut.  I don't look forward to this phase of life.  I tell Rob that I get to go first.  In the end, we never get a choice though.  I have been with Rob since I was 18 years old.  I can't imagine my days without him.  I don't think that I will be a strong widow like the ladies I see around me.

So, I guess no one ever promised us that life would always be fun.  We still try to stay positive and find the good in each day.  There is always a silver lining.  We can always put things in perspective that things could be much worse.  Here's what is making me happy today....

Watching Jack slowly turn brown!  We have been leaving him treats of carrots.  I have yet to see him enjoy one.  He brings them over to my side of the condo so I can't see him from the window.


Working on my afghan.


A fresh lemon in my kitchen.  The greenest and cheapest way to freshen up an un-green garborator.  I'm sure these pollution makers will be out-lawed soon.


A spring towel in my kitchen!


And of course, looking down into these shaggy faces!




Before ending this long winded post, I just wanted to give a little update on how my CHA release purchasing has been going.  I am failing miserably.  You would think that with everything going on, I would have not bought a thing.  No.  I went the other way.  I tried to buy some happiness.  Don't we all learn in our early adulthood that we can't buy happiness?  Well, I must have digressed.  I did manage to temporarily focus my mind on something happy... scrappy stuff!


It is a bad sign when it is all just still sitting in bags.  :(  Now that I have finished my CSI assignments, I plan on breaking in to some of this stuff.  I am missing my scrappy life and my blog has been lacking.  Time to try to get back on track.  I think a giveaway is a step in the right direction.  Sharing makes me happy.  Be on the lookout in the very near future!  I'll try to put something fun together.  It may even be something from this CHA release.  After all, I have enough of it!  ;)

Happy Scrapping!!  Jen  :)

10 comments:

  1. Oh Jen, I am so sorry! I wish I was closer to be there to talk to if you need to. I know it is hard losing loved ones. Greg's father has been gone for 7.5 months now. It still doesn't seem real. I miss him a lot. I don't know how things and health care work up there, but can you choose a place closer to you for your Mom to be? It would be easier for everyone all around, especially if you get a call that you need to go there for something. Here, we have a choice. I am glad your sister lives close by so you two can be there for each other. Isn't it amazing how a little retail therapy can lift someone's spirits. Please know that I think of you all often and hope your Mom and Dad and Mother in law are doing ok. ((hugs))

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  2. Hugs Jen! I watch these stories unfold everyday at work and it is never easy to watch. It has reminded me to embrace each day as it comes! Take care of yourself and your family! I am sorry for your losses!

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  3. Jen, my heart goes out to you and the rest of your family. It's so hard to overcome the sucker punches that life gives us sometimes, but it seems like you're doing so much better than I have. Both of my parents are now in long term care due to Alzheimer's and Parkinson's, so I know how you're feeling. I too, miss the people they used to be. And afraid that some day that it will be me. Your comments have helped me more than I can say, and I want you to know that I will keep you in my prayers. You are a special woman!

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  4. Dear Jen I´m so sorry my lovely friend that you´re having a hard time with your mom...My heart and prayers are with you my sweet friend.I would love to say many things but my english isn´t enough good to say all I want...

    Big big Hug!!

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  5. My heart goes out to you. I just wish there was something more useful or helpful I could say or do. I'm so far away, but I'm thinking about you and Susan x

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  6. Sometimes life is just so tough - it feels like a battle. Sending warm wishes for you and your family. Distraction is very useful, as is something to look forward to (those bags!) - glad you can see the blessings still Hx

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  7. HI Jennifer thanks for being so open....I lost my mum almost 2 years ago and I still do not talk about it, I cannot scrap about her either...perhaps one day....hugs to you!

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  8. So sorry to hear of the events in your life lately. I can only image what you must be feeling with your mom's stroke. I am dealing with something similar with my mom. Though she did not have a stroke, she has progressive dementia. I so miss my mom and what she was in the past. I make the most of what time we have together. Love all of your random photos! Brought I smile to my face. Don't feel bad about the purchases, I'm right behind you. I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

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  9. I've only just caught up with this post, hun ! So sorry to hear abt your mom's stroke & how tough it must be on yr dad too. **********Big hugs************
    That's nice that Rob can be there for yr neighbors too - yup , my neighbors are better than family mostly ! ;) I'll be thinking of you & your fam , hun !!!!!!!!!!

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  10. What a heavy burden, Jen. I know from your recent posts that your mother has been moved closer, and that is such a blessing! Bless your heart for helping the ladies next door; I hope your neighbour is healing from such a sudden, devastating loss. Hugs to you and your family!

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